Take it ALL off!! O. M. G.

This is one from Robbie Williams that guys can probably get a smile out of.  RW stirred up a bit of controversy when this one aired (this is an older video), but... it's hilarious, and... genius.  Never gets old. lol  So if you're a guy and think that this video is 'for the chicks,' think again... just watch. ;)

All we've ever wanted was to look good naked. *snort*

The official video is so much better.. but full version in good quality doesn't seem to exist.  yet.  I love this song... funny AND fun.  ;p  Robbie Williams is a trip! lol

Hurts - Sandman - I love this song... you've NO idea

Heard this for the first time on Vampire Diaries and just fell in love with it.  Sexy...

Black Friday is coming

Did you miss me?... maybe a little?

No?

Yes you did!


Admit it!


All right then.  I know how proud you are, so we'll just leave it at that and get down to business....

What business?  well, honestly, I don't really have any.  Well, okay, there are a few things.  I'm trying to keep on level ground with it all.  Yes, "It all."  I'm still not ready to spill everything here just yet.  In time....

Life is still just.. plain.. weird.  And I don't really get out that often.  Okay... pretty much hardly ever.  Heart still acting up on occasion, which tends to take me out at the knees for a bit.  But I'm still hopeful.  I have approximately 2-3 days a month, maybe, where I feel normal.  *sigh*

But I'm ticking off the clock to something SUPER COOL, and... I'm keeping that tidbit to myself for now.  But yes... super excited. (((cheesy grin)))  December 17th is the intended date.  If I squint I can see it just up head in that distant horizon where the sun is perpetually in that gorgeous shade of twilight.

Still feeling tired, and a bit more than just a little out of sorts, so I'm going to sign off for a while.

Laters, taters!

EPIC? Oh yeah. definitely epic. ;p

So much going on.  The good news is that a few days here and there I almost feel normal again.  Trust me when I say that's epic!  It will get better and better.  In the interim... I plug on and dream of better things that are and continue to develop and grow, of things that lay ahead.

Waiting for the moment when I can get that gym membership, when the ligament is healed and I can move normally without risk... that's not easy, but it's do-able.  Again... getting there.  Trusting in the balancing act of keeping appointments and one's sanity all at the same time is proving to be a bit daunting, to say the least, but... that too is do-able.

December 17th will be a day.  An epic day.  An exciting day.  A baby blue day of which an explanation will come later.  I will be counting off the days until then.  Well, that will the first of two countdowns, really.  The first is step one.  The second is step two.. and the biggest, really.  Oh.. but I'm not giving anything away just yet.  ;p

Thanksgiving.  December 17th.  Christmas.  February ??  Valentine's Day.  February ??

They're not just holidays.  They're not just dates on a calendar.  And some.. some have meaning only to me.  But those private dates (for now) are EPIC! ;p  Oh yeah... definitely epic.

Such a nice word.  Epic.

Dying to tell all...

I suppose I could.  But do I dare?  I don't know. I guess I still don't trust things completely.  On one hand.. what difference is it going to make if I pour every little detail out here for the whole world to see?

That's something that will take a bit of.... contemplation.

Is anyone ever really listening anyway?

Midnight...

Well, as expected, one of my favorite vampires showed up on all my devices in my Kindle app.  I've been reunited with Lestat!  Yay!  How awesome is that?  Quite awesome, if I do say so myself. :)=

Not sure what "The Prince Lestat" holds.. but I'm ready to find out!  Thank goodness for iPad Air 2 and that large, back-lit screen! Woo hoo!! :D

As for Lestat... I really didn't like Tom Cruise as Lestat in the first movie.  He didn't fit how I pictured Lestat at all... but... in Queen of the Damned.. oh wow... now THAT Lestat was ultimate perfection.  I mean, I saw 'Lester's' face and thought... that's exactly how I saw him in my mind!  If there's another movie on the horizon at all, I hope they choose an actor that portrays Lestat equally well....

"On behalf of Apple I want to extend my thanks..." Wow!!

I will get to the Apple thing in a moment, but first... about reading.....

It's true.  I used to love reading.  I mean, really really love reading.  When I was little I would literally carry bags to the library just to carry home the books I wanted to check out.  I couldn't get enough.  That love of reading never left me.  What DID leave was my perfect vision, and those dumb readers you find at the pharmacies... leave a LOT to be desired.  Let's just leave it at that.

So I saw an eye doctor who said I don't have to wear glasses all of the time, but my vision isn't so great anymore.  Yeah.  I gathered that.  And he gave me a Rx which I've yet to fill... mostly because I know I'm going to be completely girly and picky about the frames.  Even if I'll only be wearing them to read, they'll STILL need to look good. ;p  But the whole eyesight thing isn't just about the blurry thing...

I need backlighting.  Don't ask.  I've no idea.  Book lights don't help either.

Now that Anne Rice has gotten off her duff and written another in the Vampire Chronicles collection... I HAVE to start reading again.  It's been way overdue, and I simply have to read this new book.  So why not a reader?  Kindle??  Something like a Kindle?

Well, it sounded good initially.... But for a good, high quality one, well, I might as well just get a tablet.  So I did something I thought I'd never do.  I ordered an iPad.  An iPad Air 2.  Why not?

Now... about the endocrinologist appointment!

I'm happy to say I received a call from my endo's office this morning.  They had a cancellation and I was able to get the spot!  My appointment is tomorrow morning instead of December 3rd!!  I was SO glad to get that call!  There are two doctors at that clinic, and the one I'm seeing did most of his training and fellowship at the Cleveland Clinic, so he's a good doctor, and I know someone who vouches for him.  I'm hoping he will be able to get to the bottom of things and find out what the heck is going on.  And if nothing else, he can at least do the follow-up with the whole thyroid nodule thing.

A funny thing about Apple (and me):

So, I don't toot my own horn too often, but I will for just a moment.  I had a weird issue since the release of Yosemite, one that affected my iPhone.  Yes, the OS on my MacBook Pro affected my iPhone.  Let's just say that the smarter these devices get, the more they talk to each other, and the smarter iCloud gets... the more room there is for things to go awry....

Without going into great detail, I will just say that my Mac was basically telling my phone.. how to ring... even when it was off.  The problem began with something that started on my Mac, though one may not have thought so.  But I KNEW it started there....

After talking to the Apple geniuses (thank God for AppleCare!!)... who passed me to supervisors in both the OS dept THEN to the iOS dept, neither of which could figure it out... the iOS 'Upper level' technician was poised to do a master reset.  I told her, as I did everyone I spoke to... "It's not my phone.  The problem is with the Mac, and iCloud is telling my phone how to ring now..."  I then told "kate" that I thought I knew how to fix it and wanted to try that first before pulling out the big guns.  She said that was fine and gave me her number and direct extension, as did the supervisor of the OS dept who sent me to her when he and the engineers he spoke with couldn't figure out what to do....

I was pretty certain that what I wanted to do would fix it.  It was SO simple, really.  No one would believe that it was the MacBook Pro which was causing the issue.  But I KNEW it was.  I was positive it was....

So we ended the phone call.

The problem: When Apple created the ability for "Handoff," making it so you could make/receive calls from your MacBook and iPad... you were also given something else.. the ability to change your ringtone.  The idea, I believe, that they had in mind.. is that your iPhone would be controlling things. However, once you open your contact on your other device and open the ringtone options, choose another ringtone... that's pretty much it.  iCloud takes over and it tells your phone how to ring.  Hopefully they've fixed this by now!.........

I spent a lot of time on the phone with Apple supervisors while they talked to their engineers, called me back, and with no one finding a fix.  The fix should have been as easy as changing the ringtone back on the phone, they said.  Well, yeah.  I tried that.  It didn't work... which is why I called them.

They also said the phone should be controlling the ringtone, not the MacBook.  Well, yes.. I would think so.  And they were all saying it had to be the device, my iPhone... not anything software or MacBook related.  I didn't agree with them.  They were stumped.

What I did:  I went against instinct at first and just deleted the contact on my phone and recreated it.  Now prior to any calls to Apple.... my MacBook was off the entire time the wrong ringtone was playing, so I knew the information was 'in the cloud' so to speak.  The ringtone was set correctly on the phone, and again...phone rebooted prior to any calls to Apple, all the usual steps taken.

Contact entry recreated on the iPhone, asked person to call me AGAIN to test the ringtone (they were SO patient! lol)... still the wrong ringtone.  So... I did what I should have done right from the beginning...

Booted the MacBook, opened Contacts, deleted the entry with the unchangeable ringtone, DID NOT RECREATE THE RINGTONE IN CONTACTS IN THE MAC!!!  Closed the MacBook.  THEN.. I recreated the contact on the iPhone, had the person call me again...correct ringtone!  PROBLEM SOLVED.

Logic would tell you that all call-related information should be controlled by your iPhone. Yes, your other devices can make/receive calls now, but your PHONE is the primary source for making and receiving calls, so it only makes sense that THAT device should be the source of control.  So Apple has a couple of bugs to fix.  Anyway, it just made sense to delete the offending problem (contact entry on the MacBook) and recreate the entry with correct data (including associated ringtone) on the phone and allow iCloud to update the MacBook with the correct information.  Which it did.

I called Kate & Ken (Kate high level tech in the iOS dept, and Ken is the supervisor in the OS dept) and left messages on their answering machines that I had fixed the problem and told them how... since they said they hadn't gotten any other calls that they knew of about the issue yet.

Ken called me this morning to check up on me to make sure everything was working well.  He said "Looks like the iOS dept got things working for you!"  I told him, "no.. actually, they wanted me to do a master reset, and I didn't want to go that route yet, so I told them I wanted to try something first and that I would call them back if it didn't work.."  Then I told him about what I did.

Ken was very enthusiastic about the fix and said he'd been talking to his engineers about the problem even as of this morning because they really couldn't figure out how to fix it or where to begin.  I told him basically that as long as no one touched the ringtones in the Contacts on their MacBook.. they would be okay.  Hitting "Edit" was even okay.  Just don't scroll through the ringtone EVER. lol  He took notes and thanked me.  In fact he said.....

"On behalf of Apple I want to extend my thanks, and to tell you that this information is being forwarded to our engineers so we can put out an update to fix this.  So you can tell your friends and family you've helped Apple solve this problem and have become a part of the solution, the update that fixes it!"

How cool is that? :D  And you know he also said, "You know, none of us thought once to try that. lol"  And I was thinking, 'because you guys tend to think BIG, when often the solution is a relatively simple one.'  ;)

Kind of cool getting kudos from Apple.  hee

"Give me ONE good reason to watch Vampire Diaries," she said...

Unbridled Reverie in Sleep

Not since childhood have I experienced nightmares, and even now as the images and cerebral events bring themselves, uninvited, into my sleep... I remain unafraid.  Repulsed, yes.  Yet unafraid.  Still, why over the last few weeks have my dreams turned to this toxic level of untethered marrow?

I watch no more or less horror on television than before, and as anyone who knows me even a little can confirm... horror has been my favored genre since childhood.  And I'm not given to accepting digestive patterns to blame for dreams, as some parents would have their children believe (I've yet to blame a Hershey's bar for a bad dream).  My subconscious hardly stands a chance to weigh in on insidious horrors when my conscious mind is kept quite fulfilled to its heart's content these days.  Not that it ever starved in the past for its dark matter.  There's always been enough vampires, werewolves, zombies, serial killers and alien predators to go around.  So then, again, I ask.... what wakes and fuels the dream machine these days?

I'm wondering now if it might just be fun to start a dream journal.  But then I remember I have enough to keep up with just with the few blogs I have (since no one wants me to give up even one of them).  Most likely I won't, though.  Honestly, what good are dream journals anyway?  That's another talk show.

Perhaps it's just the pain that is yet to be identified and resolved (or not).  It still keeps me awake, disturbs what seems like the deepest of sleep.  Perhaps my mind is simply turning that into images.  So if my pain had a face or a life or.. if it could be described in an action scene.. it would be that?  Horrifying.  eeew.

Oh well.  Once things are, well, resolved, the culprit to this pain identified, dealt with, addressed, whatever... maybe then my dreams will return to their usual vanilla-boring presentations......

Benign Follicular Nodule (and I will never understand you guys!)

Firstly, I know a couple of my friends have preferences as to where they like to read my blogs.  But... why?  Most of the time I cross-post.  And yes, 'most' does not mean 'all,' and I know that I've been more than politely nudged to 'let it all hang out.'  But dang!  I'm trying, okay?  I'm trying.

So I'm posting here and there because one or two of you say... you like this blog, and yet another says they like the other.... while yet another likes LJ (which I'm even SLOWER at posting on).  And then there's the other one... the one I haven't given anyone official access to but haven't exactly hidden.  It's just a place to catch my breath, really.

And still... whenever I mention in a phone call or FB message or text that I really want to consolidate my blogs into at least two... I hear that resounding "NOOOOOOOO!"  Or at least a pathetic.. "but, but, but....!"  Sheesh.

You guys are killing me.  You're really killing me here.

Yes. Yes.  I'm kidding.

But here I am posting what I've already posted elsewhere.

Here's a quote that should explain it all, the beginning of the 'let's just watch and see what happens' game that seems to ensue with these thyroid things. Yay.  Not.

Click on the above for easier reading...

Basically, the cytology of these things are just weird.  I have an appt in December (earliest I could get one) with an Endo who has, from what I've seen, a good rep, so maybe he can shed better light on how to monitor this internal lumpiness.  But anyway, it will be good to have a dr who isn't dismissive and 'absent' on board.  And, Dr. E deals with a few other things I need addressing so that will be a good thing as well.

Haven't heard anything yet on the pelvic ultrasound. Hoping I don't have to deal with anything with that either.  We'll see.

I'm craving hot chocolate.....

Death on a stick

Feeling something is one thing, but putting it into words is yet another.  And it used to be the easiest thing in the world for me to do, putting words to just about anything I was feeling.  So what's changed?

Everything.

It's not easy to describe in real terms what "death on a stick" feels like, and most of the time people, myself as well (in the past) use that silly phrase as a loose exaggeration for basically feeling under the weather.  Everyone feels like crap on occasion.  Shit happens.  These days, to use that phrase just feels, well, stupid.  If there were ever an understatement, then I would have to say "I feel like shit" is probably the great grandfather of all understatements.  At least for me.

So when will I know what's wrong?

I guess I should just print out another copy of my lab results so I can remind myself how 'normal' I am.  I mean, if we're all just a set of numbers in our blood, then wow.. I should feel like a million bucks, right?  At least almost a million bucks.  As thyroid hormones go, my Free T4 is .10 of a point away from out of the normal range (low).  Sooooo, am I to think I'm supposed to feel energetic and in the prime of my life, maybe even like Wonder Woman until that value dips that .10 and then ***WHAM!!!*** I instantly feel like 'death on a stick'?  Does it really work like that?  Is that why doctors simply just wait it out until something literally falls out of range?

But then, what about those doctors who DO see values out of range and still state.. "These numbers aren't bad enough to cause your symptoms."  I've heard that before with regards to when I had macrocytic anemia.  Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Damn.

That's just a drop in the bucket, and I'm not going to go into everything in detail.  No point.  I long for the day, however, when I feel good.  I'm waiting patiently for that.  Okay, so not so patiently.  But I'm biding my time as best as I can and doing what I can in the meantime.  Not easy, mind you, when the legs are shaky just when standing, arms are shaking for no reason, everything is so weak.  Unsure where all the weakness is coming from, and that's the worst part.

FNA results aren't back yet, but I do completely expect that to be just fine.  Whether or not the nodule is creating havoc with my thyroid, I'm not sure.  My doctor doesn't seem to think so, but there are so many people out there who've been told the same thing but experience the exact same symptoms.  So who's right?

Pelvic ultrasound results ... honestly not sure when I'll get those, and they'll most likely go to Dr. L instead of Dr. E, which means she will most likely NOT call me with results and make me wait another week until I have my appt.

Perhaps neither of the above tests will yield any answers as to why I feel like I do.  But at least they will be two things I can scratch off the list.

In the meantime I will snuggle under my blanket to fight the cold, take tylenol for the aches, and ignore the sometimes sharp pains that jab their way through my lower right pelvis.  What else is there?  Oh yeah, looking forward to The Walking Dead on Sundays, and American Horror Story on Wednesdays.  :D

BOO!

It's almost Halloween!

As the dust collects here...

I suppose I will allow the dust to settle here on Blogger.  So much to focus on elsewhere, and I am liking LiveJournal a bit more anyway.  There are more than just a few ways to move on, ya know.  I've given some thought to retrieving some of my photos from my old, and mostly defunct, FB account, deactivated so long ago that it seems like it was in another lifetime (which i guess it was)....

There are a lot of photos on that FB page.  I left that profile and never looked back, thinking I could just resurrect the old external drive to retrieve the photos at some point and reconstruct things from there.  Wow... that is an undertaking mess of epic proportions, as it turns out. lol  One I would be up to eventually, just...not right now.  So the easy road it is.  I'll go in, grab the goodies, then make my exit.  I'm expecting a few friends there to be a little confused at first. lol  The ghost of Ella past! hahaha

Boo!

Ah well.  No biggie.  Still, not sure when I'll have the time today.  IF I will have the time today.  But there really are so many photos, so much photography there that I didn't retrieve when I left....  blah. blah. blah.

Once the dust settles from the gathering of old photography, etc., and saying a final goodbye to that old FB profile, I will post a farewell message on my Blogger pages and settle into a new place of sorts.

Come the 24th as I lay in that twilight sleep, perhaps the Muse who's been missing for so long will experience a cardioversion.  Maybe....that's what's she's needed this whole time.

Maybe.

Over there.... in that other place

I guess I don't feel as safe as I once did posting all the juicy stuff here. lol  But then, the link to the other blog may go here.  And... maybe the juicy stuff.... well, we'll see what I'm willing to post there.

Ha. ;p

Doesn't mean I won't be posting here, though.  Just so ya know.   Just depends on how the mood strikes me.  I'm testing driving the new site to see how it goes, so.... who knows... maybe I will like it better over there.

LiveJournal.  Let the test drive begin!

Cross-linking the blogs. Maybe

I've been a mess lately.  And, not surprisingly, my blogs have been as well.  It's not easy to organize my thoughts when I'm a bit of an physical and emotional wreck.  What a mess.

Somehow I thought it might be easier if I had only ONE blog, but for the life of me I really couldn't figure out a know-fuss way to pour them all together into one place.  So, I guess I may just put permanent links on each (here and there) so that if anyone chooses to... they can navigate to the other to read.  I've tried copying and pasting the more important posts, but... it just feels so redundant.  Stupid even.  So I won't be doing that anymore.  And these blogs were designed for different purposes.  Well.  We see how well THAT worked out.

At any rate, at some point, and hopefully soon, I'll get those links up.  The alternative was to simply wipe one or the other off the map.  couldn't do that, really.  Kept going back and forth.

Dissension sucks.

So.... linked it will be.  I have good intentions.  But I will most likely come across utterly mad.  But hey... at least it many be entertaining. ;p

I have to admit...

I've been spending a bit more time at My Lost and Found blog.  But I do get back over here on occasion.  I guess I sometimes wonder why I have more than one blog.  What was I thinking? lol  Or... was I thinking at all?

Don't answer that.

Still plugging through everything and sorting it all out one piece at a time.  "Everything" being medications and what I can take, supplement-wise, etc., etc. without blowing myself up.  Who knew this stuff was so touchy? Well, apparently it is (Lisinopril and Eliquis).  The latter of those two, the blood thinner, apparently is a HUGE one that interacts with omega-3 oils.  And here I was on high doses of the stuff.  I started having all these very unpleasant and painful symptoms, did a little research on side effects (since I tend to be very sensitive to medications anyway) to see if I needed to make a call to the cardiologist to try a different medication, and low and behold... a big warning about avoiding omega-3 oils!

But I did call my cardio doc, who of course said to drop the O-3 supplements and see if the side effects subside.  Giving it a shot.  Geez.  Have to watch Vitamin K (green, leafy veggies and the like), grapefruit, and a few other things.  Good grief.

And the beat goes on... though a bit irregular on occasion still.  But better.

I'm a bit tired.  I'm off to watch a couple of episodes of Mad Men.  I love this, series, btw....  Just saying.

The day after the T.E.E.... copy and paste from the OTHER blog as well lol

Thankfully, the T.E.E. went well and showed that my leaky mitral valve and resulting regurge aren't significant enough to require surgery!  Glad for that! :)  So on with dealing with the medications and the next step... sleep study.

Medications.  First night on the ACE inhibitor was a little rough, but my body will adjust.  My HR was in the mid 40's at the hospital yesterday and remained there in the surgical unit, prompting one of the residents who was attending/watching to ask me (before the procedure, of course) if I'd been evaluated for sick sinus syndrome (not to be confused with sinus, as in your nasal cavity).  I haven't, but in a nutshell... SSS is where your HR varies between bradycardia-normal-and often-times A Fib and/or tachycardia.  We've not gone there yet, but who knows what will happen down the road.

Meantime... back at the ranch....

First dose of Lisinopril was a tad unnerving.  Dizziness, a little chest pressure, BP was a bit low right before bedtime:  96/73 w/HR at 55 BPM.  Hey, better than at stroke level as it was last Saturday!  Woke up this morning very tired, heavy feeling, a bit weak and sweaty (suspected low BP).  Darn BP monitor wouldn't get a reading at all, which is no surprise since it will error out when it's too low sometimes.

Eliquis... well, it's an anticoagulant (blood thinner), and I will be on this the rest of my life.  This drug is prescribed to those with A Fib to help prevent stroke.  I just have to be careful with all I do, even with any dental work, which I need to go to the dentist soon anyway.  Even a routine cleaning that causes bleeding can cause BIG problems.  Stopping this medication for certain procedures, like the removal of a tooth or other minor surgery.... can be tricky, because stopping this drug has been known to cause blood clots and stroke.

I even have to warn the person doing my nails to be very very careful, as I've been accidentally cut by those big nail files before.  In the past, this hasn't been anything but a minor inconvenience.  Not so much the case now.

So, yeah... life is going to be a bit different from here on out.  No contact sports (there goes my football career!). lol  ;p  Different is just different.  That's all.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.  Not bad. Just.. different.

Next step.....Sleep study on the horizon....

We'll see.  At the end of the road I'm hoping the A Fib will be contained/controlled, the pulmonary hypertension will be relieved in some way (hey, a girl can hope, right?), and I will regain a normal energy level again.  :)

Plan's awry.... a copy and paste from the OTHER blog

So, my plan was to go to the cardiologist, as I'm supposed to go yearly anyway, and to ask him to take me off the carvedilol...as I didn't believe I needed to be on it anyway.  Now, to give a you an idea of that appointment...and the events that followed...leading up to tomorrow's T.E.E. (which I will get to), let me explain a small chain of events that led to this point.  Or maybe.. not so small chain of events.

The day I saw the cardiologist I'd forgotten to take my carvedilol, and by the time I'd made my appt that afternoon... my bp was pretty elevated.  But still, I planned on asking him to remove me off the medication and to explain why, that the fatigue/exhaustion, unbelievable breathlessness/gasping for air, etc. was made worse by the drug.  He wasn't convinced and wanted me to continue taking it and wanted to put me on an event monitor to see what was going on with my heart.

I believe it was less than two weeks with the monitor, or right about two weeks, I received a call from my cardio's nurse asking me to come in that Thursday (last Thursday) because the monitoring company had picked up something on the monitor and the dr wanted to discuss it with me and talk about medications.  Now, I'd pushed the button a few times, though not every time I felt something (as I should have), but I didn't realize that the folks monitoring me via satellite were actually monitoring me every minute, wether I pushed the button or not.  I had an echo scheduled with my cardio's technician, whom he trusted more than my former GP's tech (which I agreed with totally), so that thursday I went in for the echo and to talk to the cardio doc about what they'd found.

Thursday.  Diagnosis: A Fib (Atrial Fibrillation).  One of the most dangerous arrhythmias anyone can have.  All this time I thought those simple 'palpitations' were just that... palpitations.  They weren't.  They were my heart going into a dangerous pattern of A Fib.

Now we know why I had the mini stroke (TIA) last April.  Mystery solved!

The carvedilol was actually keeping my A Fib from going into long episodes as they had in the past (up to an hour at times), keeping them in short bursts lasting from less than a minute to up to about 15 minutes.  That's a good thing.  But I have to remain on carvedilol.

I not only have to remain on carvedilol, but I now have to have an ACE inhibitor added, as well as a "big guns" blood thinner.... for the rest of my life.

Cardio doc says that this is a dangerous situation because my BP is unstable and goes up and down.  High one minute, too low the next.  My HR also varies between extremely low, to normal.  Carvedilol is also a high bp medicine, but it has to be taken twice a day and in a TIMELY fashion, and I found out a couple of times just short the half-life of this stuff is...the first time being the day I forgot to take it before going to the cardio appt.   The second time.....

This past saturday... I dared to sleep in.  By the time I got up and had my ShakeOlogy breakfast... I was somewhere in the area of about 5 hours late taking the carvedilol.  I have to keep a BP log now, at least 2 readings a day, more if I have symptoms that I feel I need to check my BP in relation to.  I took my pre-medication reading...

Hypertensive Crisis


163/132  (61 bpm) This is a stage 4 hypertensive crisis that would normally send people to the ER or calling an ambulance to avoid a stroke.  Being new to this, I simply took my carvedilol and waited.  11 minutes later my BP was 105/71 (45 bpm).  That second reading was actually low, and my HR was extremely slow.  These wide swings are what my cardiologist was talking about, and it has only somewhat to do with the carvedilol, of which I'm on a very low dose.  But these swings occur throughout the day no matter what. Though with proper timing of the heart/bp meds there's less of these swings.  Problem is... when my HR drops very low, the regurgitation becomes even worse.

Moderate to Severe Mitral Valve Regurgitation and Increased Pulmonary Hypertension?

Last year when I was in the hospital the MV Regurgitation was at the "Moderate" level, which is considered a 'careful watch and wait' mode to see if symptoms increase, stay the same, etc.  When my new cardiologist received the records from Mobile Infirmary, however, he found that the written records stated "moderate to severe," which he said 'puzzled' him.  He explained that severe regurgitation usually presented with right side heart enlargement.  My dimensions are normal (thank God).  But, if it's bordering on severe, that could be an issue in which action may be required to stop it from reaching the severe stage.

He stated that because of my symptoms they needed to take a closer look to make a more accurate assessment of the regurgitation and to try and find the cause, such as mitral valve problem (prolapse, etc), and the only way to get a closer and more accurate look is to do a T. E. E. (Transesophogeal Echocardiogram).  In other words, to do an echocardiogram from inside the esophagus, because you can get closer to the heart that way..and get a better view.  I will be under for this procedure, of course.  :)

Pulmonary Hypertension... kind of spooky.

One year ago during an echo, I was told there was elevated pressure in my heart, meaning I had mild pulmonary hypertension.  In some people, mild cases often stay mild (depending on the cause).  When I spoke about this to my cardiologist on the first visit, he said... "You probably do have PH!  With the heart arrhythmia, high BP swings, mitral valve regurge..."  Well geez! lol  He's pretty blunt, but.. he's an awesome cardiologist, so I didn't mind that.  He's aggressive and leaves no stone unturned.  So anyway.....

Normally the pressure should be less than 25 but is now at 41.  Laying down makes me gasp for air.  Taking a shower or bath makes me gasp for air.  I just picked up one of my ferrets...and am gasping for air as if I'd run a marathon.  No fun.

I had a colonoscopy yesterday (because I'm 52), and the best part of that was.... the nurse putting the oxygen hose under my nose.  I wasn't expecting to feel so good when she did that.  It was so telling.

Today.... (Tuesday 4/22/2014)


Kind of a tough day.  I feel a lot of pressure in my chest, faint fluttery sensations, super dizzy, can't breathe well, head hurts, and I'm so tired.  Did one load of laundry... and I've had it.

I've been avoiding talking about any of this, even as I've dealt with it over the months...as it's gotten worse.  I'd been convincing myself it was this or that, blamed it on needing vitamins, needing my hormones balanced (which is being taken care of anyway), needing better nutrition (which I'm getting GREAT nutrition), then I blamed it on carvedilol... as it just got worse and worse.  I thought, if I just didn't talk about it.... ever.

Well, not talking about it sure didn't help.  Thinking it was nothing didn't help.  And thinking it was just my imagination didn't help.  In fact, my cardiologist showed me the EKG strips on the computer from the monitor and showed me what the A Fib looked like.  It's real.  And it's dangerous.  In fact he said "This is extremely dangerous."

I look back at all the stuff I ignored, shrugged off, because I didn't have insurance and no other doctor would take that next step and look into it....

I recall one episode last year when I was at Winn Dixie in Mobile.  I was in the check-out lane and my heart started with the 'palpitations.'  Normally I can count the beats, which range from 160-180 BPM.  This time...they were SO fast I couldn't count them.  I missed so many trying to count and counted to 200 and gave up.  It lasted some 25 minutes or so and stopped on its own.  Everything hurt  by the time I got to my car.  I feel like I'd climbed a mountain, running, with someone beating me with a baseball bat the entire way.  I was so tired by the time it was done.

I knew I needed a cardiologist, that I didn't want to just allow my GP (at the time) to prescribe carvedilol and have his in-house tech do echoes on me without my seeing a cardiologist.  That inner voice EVER SINGLE DAY keep SCREAMING at me to INSIST on a referral NOW.  It wouldn't let up.  That voice would keep me awake at night, and it would be the first thing I'd think about when I'd wake up.  I thought maybe it was because I believed I needed off the carvedilol.  I'd told T about this and he said I should just tell Dr. E that I needed a referral.  Period.  So I did.

I had multiple episodes one week, about 4-5 about 1 1/2 days.  During the day, sitting down doing nothing, laying down trying to sleep, and even once.. that woke me up during sleep.  I thought maybe it was the prednisone I was on.  Maybe it was just a bad week for my heart.  Don't know.  Either way, I knew I had to do something.  Glad I did.

Tomorrow's procedure.... (tomorrow being 4/23/2014)


I go in at 9:30am for the T. E. E. and the procedure is to take place at approximately 11:30a.  I'm not scared.  But I'm a little grossed out that they're putting something down my throat. lol  They're going to give me propofol, and I don't have any adverse reactions to that (as I found out yesterday), so I'll be out of it.  I'm also a little bummed that I can't watch.  I love to watch the echoes I have, so this is one little bummer about this particular procedure.

What do I expect?....


I guess I suspect they'll find my regurge is moderate.  I trust that the doctor is correct in that if my regurge is severe that I would have issues with enlargement of the right side of my heart, and... I don't.  So I think it's going to be okay in that respect.  I also doubt that the mitral valve is having any serious issues, because they don't seem to SEE it on the previous echoes.  But then, maybe there's another issue other than prolapse that can cause this?  In previous echoes they've found moderate regurgitation WITHOUT seeing the valve prolapsing?  Weird, if you ask me.  Oh well, I'm not the cardiologist.

So.... I guess, I've had my workout on this laptop for the moment.  Seriously, you've no idea what it takes out of me to do this, especially on days like this.  Ugh. lol

Laterz, taterz! :)

I've not forgotten this blog :)

Hello....

Just dropping by here to say I've not forgotten about this blog.  I've been mostly hanging out at the other one, you know.... the usual place.  Dealing with the heart issue.  Dealing with the crazy medication to help me deal with the heart issue (AFib).

..... I'm here.  Sort of.  Just... in the other room, so to speak.  You know where that is.  I think.