Hope the dust and tumbleweeds didn't muss up your boots too much. There's something to be said about wearing shades when things get that quiet, because you never know when a windstorm might come along and stir things up. That's okay. You had better things to do, right?
Of course you did.
I'm sure things sound different, feel different. They sure do from where I'm sitting. And if they don't, they certainly will very soon. Contemplation comes with a bit of quiet. I mean, it's the only way to get your Rice Crispies to really talk. ;p
So anyway, I'm done. No, not giving up or giving in. Just done. Done isn't bad. It's a starting point. At least it is for me. It means I've found something, that's all. It means I have a place to start, and that there is a transition happening. About my health and my life. It's always been about that! Don't look so damned surprised. Or NOT surprised.
Quit it. Seriously. Just listen for minute.
I have a long road ahead of me, and that could mine a second, a minute, a year... or 10 years. Could mean another 30 or 40 years. A road is a road. Geez. When was the last time I drove and encountered a highway or interstate with a barrier at some point that said "The end of the road"? Yeah. Okay. So now that we've cleared that up....
This is MY continuing on "A road." Symantics---let's not get into those, okay? You're smart. You've got this! So keep up. If you're going to ride shotgun, grab the "oh shit!" bar or strap on and raise both hands out of the sunroof! Just pick one!
You've seen me post about health issues. You know what I've been though. Some know I've been dealing with things my whole life. Sometimes.. without the benefit of health insurance. With the addition of BC/BC in early 2014 I had quite a journey, learned a lot, took a crap-load of medications, some that did good, most that just added to the problems. Note: don't take prednisone unless you are given NO other alternative! Anyway, with or without insurance, your doctor is only going to do so much. They're relatively lazy, most of them, and they tend to need a cattle prod to keep moving forward. Get past one test.. oh that's not it? Okay. See ya! And it's up to you to keep the ball rolling. It's like playing tennis with someone using ONE racket, and the other player is too damn lazy to come get the racket when it's their turn.
Anyway, in 2010 (I believe it was) I watched a documentary called "Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead." I was awed. And I wanted to do what Joe Cross did! What so many have done because of that documentary. But, it's expensive and was out of my budget then. Way out. And it continued to be out for some time. Fast forward... I tried to eat healthy when I could, but.. circumstances lead me to the ramen noodle diet, the nearly starving and supplementing starving with ramen noodle diet... and so on. I became sicker. I gained weight. And it just kept getting worse. Over time.. it was like someone flipped a switch inside... then broke it off.
No matter what I did, how I tried, what was done, what doctors I saw... I couldn't get healthy. So now, I'm going to take it ALL into MY hands and put a royal hurt on this sick thing! Watch me!
I'll get healthy or die trying!
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