Now what?

Post-IV iron infusion and feeling worse than ever.  I'm told, and I've read, that this is actually normal. Great.  But then there was the appointment with my new cardiologist yesterday, and that is yet another topic of confusion, in a sense.  I mean, all this stuff is really wearing me out, and every time I walk in to a doctor's office thinking that a, b, or c will finally be understood and resolved, something else comes along behind it.  All I can think now is.. "Now what?"

....I will get to the more personal stuff in a bit.

First is my BP creeping up (no idea why).  Right before my iron infusion it was 155/82, and at the cardiologist's office it was at 179/81.  Wow.  So, naturally, my cardiologist (whom I will refer to now as Dr. W.) brought that up straight away.  Back on a beta blocker I go... yay... NOT!  Those things make me feel terrible.  I'm not sure my BP is consistently high enough to warrant that, but we'll see.  left her a message bringing up the fact that the nurse who took my BP yesterday pumped the cuff up SO tightly that my entire body tensed..and I squeezed my eyes shut.  Look, I've had 3 children WITHOUT any pain medication, so when I say something hurt.. I'm not exaggerating.

The other issue is with regards to the Grade II Diastolic Dysfunction.  I've been scheduled for a nuclear stress test on the 29th.  This is going to be a 6 hour ordeal, but I've been through this before (2013).  The last one landed me in the OR to get a heart cath. This time there shouldn't be any arrhythmias because of the ablations I had in 2014 for Afib, SVT, and Atrial Flutter.  But, I'm assuming she wants to check for functionality with regards to the DD (diastolic dysfunction).  I was told not to exercise until after the stress test.

Echo done on my left arm yesterday to investigate the swelling that's been occurring since 2013; ruling out venous issues such as a clot.

On a more personal level...

Mr. Indifference is still mostly disconnected from everything outside of 6 inches past his own skin.  I've brought this to his attention many times, and all it does is elicit a lot of "I'm sorry" comments, infused with mild desperation.  Yes, I've pointed that out as well, reminding him that his being desperate for things to be better doesn't make things better.  In fact, it just makes things worse because he appears selfish when this happens.  I would really like to believe he's not selfish.  But, facts are facts.

Maybe I'm just too exhausted from that 2nd infusion.  I mean, the night of I crashed severely, and yesterday I was laid out on the sofa, pretty much useless and sleepy.  Yeah, who am I kidding, right?

I really don't know how I feel about this these days.  From time to time throughout the day I think I know, but then I breathe a few more breaths and I'm once again... unsure.