A Colossal Mistake.

My life?  No.  Not so much.  Just a few choices I've made along the way, mainly in the last 6-7 years. I can't sit here and bemoan bad choices.  I mean, what a total waste of time, energy, and life.  My visits to the past are merely to remind myself where I don't want to go again.  But has it helped?  Well, in some ways it has.  If nothing else I'm aware now, and 'aware' is a very good thing indeed.

So why aren't things better?  They are in some ways.  Most ways, really.  But the vital parts of me, my spirit and mind, even body are feeling the effects of bad choices made and the inability to correct a very unhealthy, stressful situation.  T is happy as a bug in a rug.  You see, when you don't give a shit life is like that---easier.

I tend to give a shit, therefore... my life is a freaking mess at the moment.  But I've not given up or given in either.  I won't do either.  I've compromised myself into depression.  Again.  Getting here was easy, and getting out will be a bitch.

One damn day at a time.  Mistakes are just that--mistakes.  Not a single one of them has to define me, so I'm not going to allow that to happen.  All of what I feel now is simply a transformation point in time, a dot on a map.  I'm not at my destination.

So now what?

Who the hell knows?