New blog, and the anticipation of the unknown.

My new blog, "This Free Spirit," is helping.  As long as I put what's needed in the entries it seems to lift the weight a little in doing so.  I'm really liking that there's success in this whole journaling thing. Unlike "This Free Spirit," my entries in the other 3 blogs, including this one, may be only somewhat focused at the moment.  However, I'm slowly but surely finding the lines a little less blurred as I go.  Soon... I will have the blogs focused on their intended purpose.  I'm getting there.

Tomorrow is my liver biopsy.  I'm not saying I'm scared, exactly; I just don't like the procedure itself. To top things off, T had one response to my having this procedure---"Do I have to be there?"  *sigh*  Way to make a girl feel loved, dude.  This is really become commonplace with him, where no matter WHAT it is you're dealing with, what needs to be done, etc... it's all about what's convenient for him.

My heart cath had to be scheduled 2 weeks later than they wanted (the dr wanted it done THIS week) to accommodate T's schedule.  Again, he has an overabundance in accrued leave that he's rarely ever willing to take.  When he reaches the point where X amount of hours will be lost if he doesn't use them, that's when it makes the most sense for him to do so.  And I can't drive myself to/from the cath procedure, so... what do I do?  Call a taxi?  The procedure itself requires certain care instructions that include not being home alone afterwards (in case of rupture of entry point/incision--femoral artery), NOT DRIVING (risk of rupturing the artery incision), not being able to lift, bend, stretch, etc.  If I don't have family or friends locally, then what?  T is NOT the guy (and not the only one I've been with) who is NOT the best person to have around when you're recovering from ANYTHING.

But here I am anyway, knowing I've been there, done that already.  I had a thyroid biopsy last year in which I went alone.  He didn't even ask how it went, etc.  Okay.  Sounds like no big deal, but when you have a procedure where they're trying to rule out cancer... it's nice to have someone there with you.  I was the only one in the recovery area who was alone.  lol  That was my first clue as to what I was dealing with.

In some ways I've venting a bit here to avoid thinking about tomorrow.