The art of indifference and the tuning in of self

Well, I obviously didn't make it here yesterday after my vent session on my alter ego blog (All Things Ephemeral).  But that's okay.  I had enough to do and deal with, and time just didn't allow for more postings.  It's all good.

I have to be honest, though.  I did have to go back to that blog and vent again a few minutes ago.  Purging of the bad stuff works for me.  Motivation usually follows, even if I am a little worn out by the process.  It's a bit like exercising in that you end up a bit fatigued afterwards, but you also get that second wind and feel yourself getting stronger for shaking that stuff off!

Right now I'm focusing on tuning in to myself, rather than focusing on the indifference and 'tuning out' of my other half... who won't be my other half for long if this continues.  When I decided to take one more chance on a relationship, I did so knowing full well that I need to keep my best interest in focus, to not lose sight of it as I did the last time.  I told myself, promised myself, that I wouldn't let harm come to me and that I would protect what is vital about me.  It didn't happen, and I allowed myself to fall into the trap of my own making.  I was blind, and because of that I couldn't see what I was walking straight into.

So tired right now, which is often the case after I purge or vent etc. lol  But again.. it's like exercising.  It will make me stronger as I 'work off' the excess, in this case, excess BS!

Yeah.  In all this.. there is much to do, and good experiences to have.  Even if I am having to choose to have them alone.  It's not any fun 'experiencing life' and having adventures with someone who is either indifferent or disinterested.

There is an awfully big world out there just waiting to explore, experience.

Onward...