Breaking through

Life has gotten slow and stagnant.  But I guess it's a by-product of health issues that sap every single bit of your strength, stamina, vitality.  Apparently it's an unavoidable outcome for a somewhat lazy health care system where doctors continue to treat lab values instead of people.  This is not the actual topic of my entry here, so bear with me a minute...  Here's my dilemma---a slow, and not quite steady, progression from test, to test results, to... no real solutions.  What I'm left with is no quality of life.  How the hell did I get here?  As many times as I've asked that question, I've gotten equally as many... wait.  No.  I've gotten NO answers at all.

Screw it.

But do I really feel that way?  In some ways, I do.  There's a larger part of me that's had it, totally and completely HAD IT with feeling this way.  It's been coming on for a few years, though some of the issues recently discovered appear as new---but it doesn't mean that they actually are.  In fact, maybe it's the same issues just now revealed.  Geez.  I can't even get my thoughts straight on this.

I do what little exercise I can, when I can.  I push almost every day for this, making sure the attempt is made, if nothing else.  Mostly, I end up doing very little because there simply isn't enough energy or strength to actually DO the task(s).  Doctors love to say... "Exercise will help."  That's a whole lot like having an empty gas tank and expecting to drive.  In fact, it's exactly like that.  I simply don't have anything to work with.

Quality of life.  I see so many people who don't understand just how blessed they are to feel healthy, be healthy, and be able to live their lives somewhat normally.  I'm not judging them at all, but I am curious as to if they know just how blessed they are to ONLY have a minor headache, or maybe fatigue from staying up too late, etc.  I would SO trade places with them.

But that's not the topic here either...

Yes, I'm having trouble getting to the f'ing point.  It's one of those days, so it is what it is.

So what DO I know for sure?  Well, I know my GP (who is a pretty good Dr.) is out of the country until next week and that his secretary/nurse told me that they prescribe iron tablets for anemia.  Really?  Because it seems to me that putting something into your body that your body can't hold on to is... like putting gas in a car that has a hole in the tank.  *sigh*

I really want to know WHY this is happening.  There isn't any real "Idiopathic" iron deficiency anemia.  It's always caused by something.  The most obvious things are checked, and when they show to not be the cause.. it's shrugged off.  Why?  IDA is NOT a minor thing, and it has terrible affects on the health and quality of live of the person dealing with it.

But that's not the actual topic/focus here either...

What the hell am I trying to say, exactly?

I guess I don't really know.  Or I can't focus well enough to figure it out.  Dizziness... yet another symptom of IDA.  Ugh.

Sheesh.