Countdown to Nap Time.

Yes, I'm trying to invoke my sense of humor in order to have a better chance of surviving today with all its prednisone withdrawal migraine headaches, weakness, fatigue, and a plethora of other unpleasant pleasantries.  A spring of irony, a handful of sarcasm, and walla!... instant blah, blah, blah. Yeah, it's not going so well.

I guess you could call this entry a 'hit-and-run' share because I'm fading quickly here and in desperate need of laying down, warming up, and praying for these Pred withdrawal side effects to vanish.

......

Just a reminder....

I'm posting folks, for those who've reached out.  And the posts are being recorded in the different blogs according to the content, mostly.

http://abusebondsbroken.blogspot.com

The above is just one location where I post.  Content usually changes from blog to blog as I've separated the focus as much as possible.

Complete list below, as well as the menu bar on the side...

http://gothicwell.blogspot.com

http://boosjuicybits.blogspot.com

http://autumnwhisperstome.blogspot.com

http://abusebondsbroken.blogspot.com

In this quiet place

I guess in some ways I've just allowed myself to vent in order to keep from losing my mind.  A lot of us do that.  And every day I try and find ways to make myself think differently, feel differently, and live differently in order to find myself again.  I'm okay with admitting I'm lost right now, and I believe being lost isn't always the worst thing a person can be or feel.  If you're lost, maybe it just means you've wandered many paths to find the right one.  It's certainly a better way of thinking about it than simply taking the stance that you're unable to find you way---no matter where you are.  I'm reaching out, but I can't really say who or what it is I'm reaching out TO.  It is what it is.  Questioning too much right now just makes things far too complicated.

So how do I feel today?  Self-assessment says I'm feeling tired, run down, and I'm experiencing some irritation with these possible PVCs.  They, along with the iron deficiency anemia make me breathless, fatigued, and TOTALLY uncomfortable.  Just scratching the surface of that, because I'm really not in much of a mood to talk about every detail.  And I'm pretty sure it's not what anyone wants to read.

Here I am, then... just contemplating WTF to do next.  Which is pretty much par for the course these days anyway.  Life is a constant weirdness.  What can I say?  (smiling, here)

Well, the next step (I guess) is just more of the waiting game.  I get to see my PC doc on Thursday about the anemia and what, if anything, do we do about it.  I say 'if anything,' because a larger part of me hopes it will just go away.  Yeah, yeah.  Still, why not expect it to resolve on its own, rather than expecting it not to?  Rhetorical statement.

I'm not going to dump everything in this one entry, because it will turn into topic-salad quickly.  That, and it will end up one of those novelettes that I'm known for writing at times. ;p  Be happy I'm sparing you that much, at least!  Getting to the point these days, as you know, isn't my strong point, so it just stands to reason that I, for now, keep the topics somewhat separated.  Easier for you.  Easier for me.

Blah blah blah.

And junk.

A collage of irretrievable decisions

I hate taking medications.  People who know me know how much I utterly despise them.  Yes, I do understand there are times when it's necessary, but I consider 'necessary' reasons to be ones in which your life depends on that medication.  I think that rather speaks for itself.  But in the case of muscle relaxers, I have to honestly say that they are amongst the most dangerous.  If you've never taken them, or if you have and didn't read about them... you may want to make sure you absolutely require them before embarking on that journey.

I've been prescribed Flexeril.  I've had doctors in the past try to tell me to take these things for this or that, but I've always refused and chosen to ride out whatever it was.  This time, my doctor says to give it two weeks (like I've not heard that before).  I agreed, and so far I'm hating it.

Here's Flexeril's ugly truth.  Seriously, two pages of side effects.  I'm sure most muscle relaxers are similar as far as risks are concerned, but this is some nasty stuff.  I've been on it for 2 days now and feel absolutely sluggish, and I take it at night!  And here's an interesting thing about those side effects: One of the ones listed on the serious side effects is.. "Unusual dreams."  Really?  And just how am I, or anyone, to differentiate between the normal dreams and the side effect dreams?  Aren't all dreams unusual?  I don't know about you, but ALL of my dreams are unusual.

Well, basically, I'm not liking this crap one single bit and hope I can stop them before long.

Moving along....

As they say, "Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it."  Totally agree.  I've kept emails, texts, this and that for a long, long time now.  Much of it is unpleasant, while others aren't so much.  In some ways I guess I should just delete the lot of them, but I think that if I do the lines will blur between what I need to remember and what I need to forget (or at least put out of my mind).  And oh yes, I'm very adept at blurring those lines.  I'm too quick to forgive and forget, and in some ways.. that's really not a good thing at all.

I've often thought... What if I take all of those conversations and blog them?  What if I actually put them out there for the world to see, talk about it all... right here, right now, on all of my blogs?  Of course, names would be changed.  But would it help others going through what I did?  Would it help, would it hurt, and how would I feel to have it out there for the entire world to see?

All valid questions I've no answers for.

Will I do this, put it all out there for the world to see?  I'm considering it, but I'm straddling the fence at the moment.

What brought all this on?  Well, like anyone I go into my emails and attempt to clear out the clutter, and in doing so I inevitably find myself staring at older emails, those emails.  Once it's there in front of me... I just can't NOT read them.  Again.  Smart move?  Not sure about that either.  Yet, maybe it's good to remember.

Either way, I read and the lines aren't so blurred anymore.  The edges of the experience become sharper and well-defined, making it easier to see and remember exactly how things were at the time.  No longer am I able to shove the unpleasant into the background.  Again, I'm really not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing to remember.  It all just leaves me feeling.... strange...and wondering if it were all just an illusion, that I was at any point in time free from those experiences.

Are any of us ever really free from the past?

Reminder about my other blogs

A couple of you have sent me messages on FaceBook regarding a few issues I promised to talk about or update about.  I have.  You may have just missed where I spoke about them.  This was the problem I mentioned previously about keeping all 3 of my blogs.  But you guys begged me to keep them all, so I did. :)

So as a reminder, and to either clear up confusion or create more, here are the links to my other blogs.  You can always find them in the menu section (side bar) under Alter Ego.  Also, in case you've forgotten, mostly the separate blogs are for focus, so that all topics don't all end up getting blended together in one place.

Hope this helps...

Where Fireflies Dream

http://gothicwell.blogspot.com

All Things Ephemeral

http://autumnwhisperstome.blogspot.com

Boo’s Juicy Bits

http://boosjuicybits.blogspot.com

Each blog is designed for a specific purpose and focus, true, but all of them overlap in many ways.  I may end up burning myself out posting on one, and may not get a chance to post an entry on the others the same day, or at the same time.  There will be times, in other words, where it may appear as if I've not made an entry...when I actually have but on a different blog.

A brief explanation of the blogs may help a little bit.  Just remember that even if a topic/blog may not interest you, I may have spilled everything there and not posted elsewhere.

Where Fireflies Dream was intended to be a place for dreams, wishes, hopes, plans, goals, etc.  But it's evolved over time into something bigger than that.  That's about all I can do to explain this blog.  There are days when the focus is implied, and days when I'm speaking in contrast to what the focus actually is.

All Things Ephemeral is the original blog, the one I built and posted on about anything and everything you could possibly imagine.  I used to give quite a bit of details, which often meant deleting entries after a time that said too much.  Hence the name "All Things Ephemeral."  Now, I've not recently unloaded in detail there, so most of the entries remain intact.

NOTE:  It must be said that when I do post in great detail there the post may not remain for long.  So if you make it a habit of reading posts in this blog you probably won't miss anything.  If you wait too long.. the entry may be deleted.

Boo's Juicy Bits:  Now this blog is mainly about health and diet in the context of flirtatious fun.  With health issues wreaking havoc, however, it's changed the entries for the most part.  But as things change and I get on top of things... it will return to its original and flirty content.  I'm not about faking things to entertain, so you guys will know pretty much where I am by what you read there.

Again, ALL of these blogs intersect in some way.  They all have a purpose, to which I've tried to keep true on, but they still cross over one another in ways.

Okay.  Enough of this.  Again, you can find the links to the Alter Ego blogs in the bar to the side of each blog.

Well... this liquid diet is kicking my ass today, so I'm off here for now.

*waves*

Other blogs.. Alter egos

In case you guys didn't know--I am making a better effort to post more relevant content on my other blogs.  Meaning, on Boo's Juicy Bits... that's more in-tune with what it was created for--health, weight loss, anything relevant to health, and.. it may or may not get racy at times (just as a heads-up).  All Things Ephemeral.. can be more reflective, or maybe a literal 'alter ego' to this blog.  Either way, I've been lazy in the past because it was made known to me that no one wanted me to delete any of my blogs (3).  So, I was making it easy on myself by just mostly copying and pasting from one to the other.

No more.

I'm stepping up and making a decision to try and keep things separate as possible.  So if you read just one, you may miss out on something else.  Unless I happen to mention it in another...

Can't say for sure how it will all go.  But I do find that once I've gotten one feeling or topic or what-have-you out of my system... I often don't feel like talking about it again somewhere else.  Just saying.  So... keep that in mind if you want to know everything that's going through mine. ;p

Now, THIS post WILL be posted on all three blogs.

Now... If you look in the sidebar.. you will find the links to my alter-egos should you dare to read.  As my sleep improves... there is honestly no telling what I may talk about.  Keep your curiosity in check,  or not. lol  Read at your own risk. ;)

*smooches*