Just because it's expected doesn't mean it's okay.

Yeah, I know.  I'm sure you guys are sick of hearing about me coming off Prednisone.  But, believe it or not, there are a LOT of people who have to take this stuff in high doses and often for a long period of time (months to years).  In my case we're talking about 2 months after it's all said and done, and when it comes to prednisone.. that is a very long time.

As I research I find many common complaints relating to my symptoms, and these seem to point to tapering off too quickly.  This means the adrenal glands haven't quite woken up enough to do their job.  The body is protective and reactant when it comes to anything upsetting homeostasis--we all know this.  So when something is brought on-board, like a glucocorticoid (a cortisone-like drug), the body springs into action to shut down the adrenal glands to thwart any danger brought on by excess steroids.  This process is a good thing.  My current symptoms began when I began to taper off the prednisone, but also when I added Aza (Azathioprine.. or "Imuran").  There was, and somewhat is, no way to definitely say what's causing these undesirable side effects.  Only time will tell.

In the meantime I'm stuck at home, uncertain from one day to the next, or one moment to the next what I can or can't do.  Yes--I sound like a broken record.

I'm reconfiguring my life around this withdrawal and its symptoms.  There really isn't any other choice.  And in the stretch to an unseen finish line I have to deal with T.  I mention this because it truly does make this process, this experience all the harder... and unnecessarily so.  Since I don't have control over what he does or doesn't do, and wouldn't WANT to have control, I have to focus even harder on what my future looks like, what I want, and how I plan to get there.  The first step to my future is to heal; this means taking all necessary steps to wellness.

I do have so much more on my mind, ideas and dreams that have yet to be realized and are 'just' out of reach at the moment.  Believing I'll get there demands I concentrate on healing as it's the most important part of the foundation for good living, and a vibrant, healthy, quality of life.  That foundation is necessary, vital to building a better future for myself.  See, I get at least that much.

So my talking about my health is critical, at least for me, and it's critical because it cannot be avoided.  If I look the other way while doing nothing, I'm going to get blindsided by what may be coming.  It's okay to be prepared for the worst while expecting the best, and anyone who chooses only one side of that coin is most likely going to receive a harsh lesson.  Why on earth would I invite that?

Okay, so now I've blabbered on about the same ole same ole.  It's a necessary evil, I guess.  Knowing a bit about what to expect as I taper off of a very powerful and dangerous medication, as the symptoms threaten to take me out at the knees.  Yeah, a lot of people deal with these withdrawal side effects, and it's expected...

But just because it's expected doesn't mean it's okay.  Trust me, it's NOT okay.  Ugh.