How to starve to death on a vegan diet and make your private parts fall off

No, wait WHAT??  Yeah, everyone knows that if you're vegan or vegetarian you're going to starve to death because, what the hell are you going to eat if you're not going to eat meat?  Right?

Seeds and twigs and grass.  Right?  I mean, who wants to live off of rabbit food when you can just eat the rabbit?  OMG, no!  And if you starve yourself your muscles will be used for protein and..and..and..isn't just about everything made up of muscle?...and what about my, you know, "stuff?"  You know, 'the important stuff'?

What?  You think if you don't eat meat then your muscles will waste away and your junk will fall off, right?

So, to make things easy, and without going through the myriad of facts and such, and without restating the bazillian things listed in abundance on the internet already regarding how you will ultimately starve to death on a vegan diet... let me just skip right to it and give you the horrifying visual of all the grim and non-palatable ways you'll starve.

Brace yourself.  This shit is about to get real.

It's not meat.  I LOOKS like meat.  Ooooh, but it's not!  THIS is how they trick you! 

I'm not falling for this!

And this, this is another way "they" lure you into the vegan trap!  yeah, just take a gander (oops, did I just say that!?!) at this heaping pot of vegan chili!  Non-meat!  It has to be an illusion, filled with visual and culinary impossibilities.  It's a trap.  Just don't go there!

Oh, now we're talking!  THIS looks like some kind of salad!  HA!!!  Gotchya!

But then there's all this creamy stuff, and then some walnuts.  Some herbs and fruit... chickpeas I guess...  I don't trust this.

I simply don't trust this.  Best to steer clear.  I'm sure it's definitely a trap.

I know I see cheese in this stuff.  Right?  Cheese?  No cheese, you say?  WTF???  I KNOW I'M SEEING CHEESE!

Cauliflower?  That's not freaking cauliflower, dude! You're out of your f***ing mind!  Cauliflower that looks like cheese.  You're crazy.

Well I'M not going to eat it!  I don't recognize one single thing there!  Okay, maybe TWO things.  But I'm not eating it, because I don't know what it is.

And where's the chicken?

So this looks okay, but I'm going to have to hit McDonald's after this.  You know that, right?  I mean, where's the beef??!!  Nothing there to eat?!  I'm going to starve!!!

Aaaaahhhhh!!!  A hamburger!!!!!

What do you mean it's not a "hamburger."  I know a hamburger when I see one, and that is a f***ing hamburger!

Mushrooms, my a$$!  And what the hell is a quinoa??!!



Yeah.  I've heard it all, read it all, and at times... thought it all.  But it's all vegan.  Some are main courses, and some are side dishes.  MY thing right now is that I have to combine both vegan/vegetarian with gluten-free.  That is a given.  Though there is one thing that is going to somewhat hinder that from being 100% and that's my cookware.

In order to have a COMPLETELY GLUTEN-FREE DIET you have to replace all of your cookware!  Yep.  And my cookware is an expensive, professional quality set that I'm not about to replace.  Maybe one day.  But not right now.  I've invested in two juicers, so that's enough investing at this time.

Another thing you need to know if you go gluten-free is this:  If you suspect celiac do NOT go on a gluten-free diet, because that will hinder a diagnosis!!!  Get your doctor to get the tests done prior to doing any gluten-free diet, because you don't want to go through that biopsy for no reason!  I doubt I have celiac, so I'm willing to take the risk.

So here's me kicking off my next phase in health, weight loss, and keeping my private parts from falling off!

And yes, there will be some new entries about other things such as how I'm feeling, if my girly bits are still intact (just kidding!), how I feel about the price of tea in England.... or whatever happens to be floating or sinking my boat.

Like I said... This shit is about to get real.

OH. MY. GOURD!! It cost HOW much??!!

Day 17 and it's the end.  Yes, the end.  But not completely the end.  But don't break out the tissues and start playing Taps just yet!  Let me explain what made me decide to change up the fabric of what I'm doing...

No worries about juicing itself, because everything was fine.  It's a great experience that I am continuing, but not 100% as a juice fast!  And there's a damn good reason for this choice.

Cost.  Plain and simple.

At the beginning of this journey the cost was estimated to be somewhere around $120/week, roughly.  In that estimate certain factors were considered such as what was in season, not in season, local purchases (which would make things less expensive), and buying organic (which means more expensive).  All T's were crossed and all I's were dotted.  But what we didn't consider were shortages, and for any such shortages to include one of the main staples of juicing---kale.

Well damn!

While doing a bit of research yesterday I discovered a few threads on folks who had given up their juice fasts due to cost.  And I found as many discussions on those who chose to suck it up and continue despite the cost.  While this whole cost thing concerned me I wasn't all THAT worried.  But then, T insisted on doing the shopping since he wanted to use his credit card that gave this awesome cash back incentive for shopping at grocery stores.  Okay.  I'm down with that.  And what this translates to is this....

I had NO idea what juicing was costing us until last night!

OH.  MY.  GOURD!

So, how bad could it be, you ask?  $180.00 to $200.00 per week!  YES!!  I know!!!  OMG!

I asked, "WHY didn't you tell me it was costing this much??!!!"  And T's reply was... "I didn't want you to worry, and I knew it was helping you."  *sigh*  Super sweet, yes?  Of course it is.  Still, we have a lot going on and really, a Reboot doesn't HAVE to last 30 days to receive great benefit from all the micronutrients you take in!

I said... "It's time to Transition out."  And so last night I had lentil & veggie soup (vegan, gluten free, organic), and began my transition back into solid foods, and I feel great about my decision.  :)

I had 17 awesome days where my body was flooded with pure, fresh vegetable and fruit juice, free from packaged food, fried food, sugar, gluten, and any other form of garbage that most of us humans put into our systems on a regular basis.

I sleep better than I have since I don't know when, my hair is growing faster, my nails as well, and my skin looks great!  And... I don't crave junk food or sweets!  And trust me, I used to LOOOOOVE sweets.  Not that I wouldn't eat desserts, mind you.  They're just not a temptation anymore.  Also, the allergies that have plagued me over the past two years are GONE!!!  I couldn't breathe before this cleanse, and now I can breathe normally!

And it took only 17 days.  Actually, it took less than that, but I continued my cleanse for 17 days.

What's next?  My next goal is to go vegetarian/vegan.  I didn't grow up this way, and I didn't have this environment ever in my life.  So it's not going to be a "cold turkey" situation (no pun intended).  At least I don't think so.  I still have weight to lose as the prednisone monster and subsequent effects will take some time to correct, but it's okay.  I've come this far and have lost 17 lbs during my Reboot.  :)  I'm good.

So this is really where the fun actually starts!  Phase two is where the works begins, and "the work" IS the fun part, because the journey is going to be fun...  because nothing's really changes, has it?  I mean, all we really want is to look good naked, so... having said that... let's get to work!

Weird, Random, Post out of nowhere... and Midnight Menu?

Odd, but this post originally was started about a week ago and ended up somehow in draft. Oh well, no biggie.  I don't have but a moment, so I'm just jotting a quick entry about a few life tidbits since I really wanted to get this photo up of my happy little Marley.

So far so good on the new house.  There will be a few things done before we move in, and the seller has to fix a couple of things before the final contract is done.  House is still under contract, but there was a contingency in place for any findings during the inspection.  Just 'stuff' we have to deal with, and should be well finished before closing date.

We're having some indoor painting done (I reeeeeaally don't like bright yellow on the inside walls! lol), and the deck out back we've decided to get refinished.  Just a few things done here and there.  In time we will remodel the bathrooms because, well, they REALLY need it. lol  but they're livable and doable in the meantime, so no giant rush at all.  Part of the house is wood flooring, part is semi-white carpeting (which we don't really care for that much), so in time we will put wood flooring in eventually.  And the screened sunroom that divides two portions of the deck (hard to explain, but very cool) we haven't decided what we want done in that room yet.  All pretty much fun stuff.  :)

I'm pretty cold today... and.. the last two nights I've dreamed about eating! haha Guess I should've expected that, but it's still a little funny and surprising.  Let's see, last night I had a large, fried chicken patty, and the night before I had deep fried broccoli.  I know!  Seriously, what's THAT all about!?!  I've never eaten deep friend broccoli before. lol

I'm beginning to wonder if this is going to be an every night occurrence. ;p  And still so incredibly strange when you think about it, especially when I wasn't in the habit of frying food, and then in my dreams everything is fried.  Go figure.

Oh well.  Maybe my body is trying to talk me into eating, not sure.  But I'm not ready to call it quits, and I'm going to stick with this as long as I possibly can!  My minimum is 30 days, and if I can go longer, then I will.  If I go the 30 days, then I'm going back to the vegan & gluten-free Transition eating I was doing before I began the Reboot, because I was losing some 3 lbs per week.  Then after about a month, I will start another Reboot.  I will play it by ear.

Maybe I'll start a daily post and call it.. "Midnight Menu." lol

Day 14 - Wake Up, Kick Ass, Repeat

Day 14 -  I tried standing like that and I think I pulled something and scared my family.  And my dog.  But the good news is that I've lost 14 lbs so far and I'm one day away from my first 30 day goal!  30 days of juicing, and I'm half way there!  Yay!

Funny ad, but I have to say there's a little truth in it.  These days people are shallow, and unless your significant other truly loves you, he/she will hit the dusty cow pie trail and you'll be left in a fatigue-laden, dust-clouded aloneness.  But then, maybe that's for the best.  Either way, this goofy ad speaks about a "vegetable compound," so there IS a little truth in this advertising, after all.  They just didn't tell the whole truth.  Of course, they were just trying to sell something.

Juicing is still the best way to get an abundance of the good stuff into your body.  Plain and simply put.  And... you'll be peppy too, for yourself, your family, your LIFE!

Life.  My life.  That's really what it's all about anyway.  I have to wake up every day and face myself, who I am, where I am, no matter what, and tell myself that I am okay!  :)  Now, if you're like me you may know you're a bit on the 'not-so-normal side,' and that's even better!  ha!  So go with it. I do, and I plan to keep doing so.

I embrace my not-so-normalness!;p

So today I got out of bed and I told myself that I'm going to take it easier than I did the last few days.  I over extended myself a bit and now I'm paying the price.  But that's not a bad thing, because it just means that my energy is up and that my body is in a state of "WTF??!" lol

Now it's just about taking it a step back and easing into things a little bit at a time and deciding not to conquer the world in one day.  Dang it.  I was so hoping to do that in a day, too!

Another thing I need to remember is to stop being so impersonal about things when I'm making my entries here.  As I was typing I realized I was going down the road of disassociating myself, personally, from my entries (for the most part) and had to go back and change some wording, phrasing, etc.  Old habits, I guess, not wanting to expose myself too much.

Bad habits are meant to be broken, and I'm going to make that one my bitch.

So, what bad habit are you going to make your bitch today?

Noodles!

Cold

I'm freezing today.  Simply freezing.  I don't think it has anything to do with the juicing I'm doing, because I tend to exist on the cold side anyway.  But I am extremely cold today and want to simply stand under a hot shower.. all... day... long.

I think it's safe to say that it's just one of those days and I'm really just thinking about taking that hot shower and crawling under a blanket and staring at the tv.  It really is that kind of a day.

Truly, on second thought.. maybe this is part of the detox process... am feeling a bit weird. Not bad, mind you.  Just weird.  Guess it's time to just go with it and pamper myself with warmth and aromatherapy.....

Come on Spring/Summer.  Freezing, here.  :/

The Biggest Wish

Sometimes it's more than one, these wishes.  Well, to be honest, I guess they almost always are.  Wishes.  Dreams.  Goals.  They're ALL born of the same stuff, so don't let anyone tell you any different.

Food for dreams... wishes.  Fuel for your goals... dreams.  Seriously, if you lose any one of these vital components you're going to be floundering and wondering what the hell happened and why things simply aren't going as you planned.

Plans.  Those are just outlines drawn somewhere and not unlike a recipe you 'sort of' stick to.  Hell, recipes are mostly improved upon by intuition or... more often, by mistakes.  Just go with it!

Oh, and then there are the little (or big) imperfections when the good stuff is realized.  Hey wait a minute! What do you mean IMPERFECTIONS??  Well...I mean exactly what I said.  If you want something badly enough and get it, don't sweat the small stuff when it falls in your lap!  How hard is that to figure out?  Seriously.

Actually, that's what I've had to tell my self a few times.  ;)  Trust me. I'm pretty damn good at taking my own advice.  Not always great at following my own advice.  But that's another story.

So one of the things that's been in the works is moving out of the city.  Well, THIS city.  Too noisy, etc., and I've needed something far more peaceful and serene (much like my old neighborhood in Mobile.  Finally a place was found...a place we feel is perfect for us.  Notice the wording.  Nothing is perfect, folks, and life will always be a work in progress.  Because.. it.  Is. LIFE.  :)

As the wheeling and dealing was done, today was the day of a final agreement, all contingent on the home inspection.  Once that is done, then we wait till closing.. on our around February 17th.

Another happy event revealed itself when I found out the good news about the house, which was super nice.  I needed a good day, as things have been a big hectic.

The biggest wish...  What is it?  Hmmmm.  I have to admit I'm not exactly ready to reveal it to the world, or entirely sure I'm ready to talk about it.  It may be a bit too much at the moment.  Let's just suffice it to say that my life is... complex at the the moment, and I've not quite put everything into proper perspective yet.  Once I feel compelled and comfortable enough to start talking about it here... I'm sure it will be a whole flood of TMI.  ;) lol

Till next time.... noodles!  ..silly autocorrect.  I think I'll just leave it. ;p