Breathe...

Been a messed up couple of weeks.  Sitting here in blissful quiet, which I didn't think I would have considering it's a weekend.  Needing space, quality time outside of the house on my own.  On.  My.  Own.  Feeling cramped, claustrophobic, needing to stretch my wings, though tired.  Dear God, but I do need a vacation, and one in which I travel alone.  You've NO idea just how much this is needed.

Some days I just want to call out... "JUST WAIT!" and have the entire symmetry of my life become still, quiet, and peaceful.  I want to stop the buzz of BS and have that calm wash over me.  This is a necessity, people.  A necessity that is vital to my survival.

I watched a show last night in which the main character was on the beach, Pacific coast of California. They did little to muffle the sound of the sea crashing against the rocks and sighing on the sand.  I was instantly transported to somewhere inside me... and all at once I knew I had to hear the sea again.  NEED to hear it again.  It's transforming, that sound.  And I miss it beyond description.

Have to get past the health issues, but I plan on going SOMEWHERE, preferably where I can see and hear and smell the ocean.  And it will have to be a part of the coast that isn't known for its calm waves.  No.  I need the full-on roar of the Pacific.

For now... I'll just keep breathing.