When assumptions are a good thing

I have to admit I'm exhausted.  No matter if I sleep or not, or how much sleep I get... I can't seem to bring myself out of the exhaustion with ANY success at all.  Coffee has once again become my best friend, and as I sit and type and catch the aroma of that little cup of wakefulness... I'm at least grateful for having that to help me through the morning.  I'm assuming it's okay, this daily morning indulgence, because I'm mindful of just how much of it I can consume without shoving myself into overdrive.  Assumptions can be a good thing, sometimes.

My sleep study is this evening.  And as I sit here typing with my forearms resting on the table (can't hold them up to type most of the time) I have a little spark of hope, mixed with apprehension, that maybe they'll find something that will lend hope to ending this awful fatigue and sluggishness I've felt for so long.  While a few things could be to blame, including (but not limited to) the anemia, vitamin D deficiency, NASH, and the new heart issue... I'm still assuming that I may have a problem with sleep apnea.  I've been told that there are more types of sleep apnea than the typical 'obstructive' type.  We shall see.

So what fuels me each day if I'm so tired?  Ha!  Funny you should ask...in a matter of speaking.  I guess it's just knowing I HAVE to get up, keep going, keep moving.  I really don't have any other motivation at the moment.  It's funny, really, how motivation seems readily available, like it's just right there in front of me, yet I can't seem to use it.  Well, there's fuel and there's fire... you need both for combustion, right?  I'm lacking at least one, though many days it feels like both are missing.

Man.  I can't even describe how 'blah' I feel these days.  THAT, my friends... is yet another talk show.